I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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