This girl is more easily done than said...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
