I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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