Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
