please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
