I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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