I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
