Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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