Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
3pm strippers are depressing
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
