I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The power of my boobs compel you
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize