The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
