Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
