Betty ford says i'm here all night
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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