I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
