I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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