I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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