New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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