just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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