all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
