Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
