My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize