I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
