You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize
