I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
