I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
