no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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