My brain says no but my pants say off.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
