girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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