It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
