Betty ford says i'm here all night
kristin has been a bad kristin
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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