He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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