She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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