I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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