I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
