Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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