Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize
