I hate all girls vehemently.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
