so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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