i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
