I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
