This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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