eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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