this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
