dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
