shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
