i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i was born a porn star she said
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
