I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
