I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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