Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
he fucked my hip out of place.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
