In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
