TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
