You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
