Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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