I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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