OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I can text with my tongue
Is it because I queefed?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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