I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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