If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
