Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
