Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
