Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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