Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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