he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
