$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Drunk is not a location!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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