I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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