need another drink. this is the easiest way
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
