dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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